What's Your Conflict Style?

Ten Secrets To Lasting Love: Relationship Check-In Questions

communication conflict relationships Jul 16, 2023
relationship check-in questions

We often make the grave mistake of considering love as a fairytale, where once you find 'the one', everything automatically falls into place. This couldn't be further from the truth. Maintaining healthy, robust relationships require work and the determination to address potential issues before they become too big. One excellent method to keep the connection going strong is to conduct a regular relationship checkup and asking each other the check-in questions that might otherwise be missed.

Relationship Check-Ins: A Lifeboat For Love

John Gottman, a renowned relationship therapist and founder of the Gottman Institute, firmly believes that regular relationship check-ins act as a lifeline, preserving relationships from the brink of falling apart. This practice serves as a platform to express feelings, desires, and concerns, contributing significantly to keeping the love alive and thriving. Who knew a regular meeting would be cause for top praise from The Gottmans?

 To find out more about our Check-In Check-List, click here

How Can I Make our Relationship Better with a Check-In?

Building and nurturing a healthy relationship takes effort and commitment from both partners. If you're looking to improve your relationship or marriage, here are some steps you can take that can be addressed with monthly or weekly check-ins.

1. Open and honest communication: Effective communication is vital in any relationship. Make an effort to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly and listen actively to your partner. Avoid criticizing, blaming, or being defensive, and instead, focus on understanding and finding solutions together.

2. Quality time together: Spend quality time with your partner regularly. This can involve going on dates, engaging in shared hobbies or interests, or simply having meaningful conversations. Make sure to prioritize this time and be fully present without distractions.

3. Appreciation and gratitude: Show appreciation for your partner's efforts, kindness, and qualities. Express gratitude for the things they do, even the small gestures. This helps create a positive and supportive atmosphere in your relationship.

4. Trust and respect: Trust and respect are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Be reliable, keep your promises, and be honest with each other. Respecting each other's boundaries, opinions, and personal space is also crucial.

5. Conflict resolution: Conflicts are inevitable, but it's how you handle them that matters. Instead of avoiding or escalating conflicts, aim for constructive resolution. Practice active listening, compromise, and find win-win solutions. Seek professional help, such as couples therapy, if needed.

 To find out more about our Check-In Check-List, click here

Relationship Check-In Tip #1 Keep It Regular

While the hustle and bustle of life can be overwhelming, it's essential to keep these check-ins consistent, be it weekly or monthly. The objective is to create a dedicated time to communicate about your relationship's highs and lows, expressing gratitude and finding ways to support each other better.

Relationship Check-In Tip #2 Breaking the Ice: Appreciation is Key

Expressing gratitude forms an ideal start to your relationship check-in. A simple gesture of pointing out something you appreciate about your partner can foster warmth and positivity, laying the groundwork for an honest and open discussion.

Relationship Check-In Tip #3 Acknowledgments: Fuel For Emotional Connection

The practice of acknowledging each other's efforts often gets overlooked. Let your partner know that their actions, big or small, do not go unnoticed. It could be as simple as appreciating them for taking care of household chores or their efforts in balancing work and family.

Relationship Check-In Tip#4 What Do You Need From Me? The Art Of Support

A significant question to explore during your check-in is identifying how you can support your partner better. Maybe they need your help with a specific task, or they seek your emotional support. By asking directly, you can tune in to their needs and expectations.

 To find out more about our Check-In Check-List, click here

Relationship Check-In Tip #5 Checking In On Past Week: Moments Of Connection And Disconnect

Taking time to reflect on the past week can reveal key insights. Discuss moments when you felt disconnected or hurt. This process is not about blaming but rather understanding each other’s perspectives.

Relationship Check In Tip #6 Revisiting Moments Of Love

Just as you explore the difficult moments, don't forget to recall times when you felt particularly loved and respected by your partner. Understanding what actions or words instill a sense of love can strengthen your bond.

Relationship Check-In Tip #7 The Unspoken Truths: Revealing What's Keeping You Up At Night

While it can be daunting to share certain thoughts that might hurt or disappoint your partner, honesty plays a crucial role in nurturing an intimate and transparent relationship. Your relationship check-in can serve as a safe space for sharing these hidden thoughts.

Relationship Check-In Tip #8 Making Love Better: Discussing Intimate Desires

A healthy relationship doesn't shy away from discussing sexual desires. Identify what works for both of you in the bedroom, and what doesn't, to enrich your physical intimacy.

Relationship CheckIn Tip #9 The Joy Of Shared Activities

Discussing shared activities for the upcoming week can enhance your connection. This conversation is not only about planning but also about showing your eagerness to spend time together.

Relationship Check-In Tip #10 Upcoming Week: Expectations And Needs

Finally, ask each other about specific actions that can make the other person feel more loved, respected, or supported in the upcoming week. Balancing 'alone time' and 'together time' is also an essential part of this discussion.

Relationship check-ins act as a pathway to enhance understanding, celebrate wins, resolve conflicts, and deepen your bond or reconnect with your partner. Cultivating this practice of open and honest communication can truly be the game-changer in achieving a lasting relationship.



Why are regular relationship check-ins important?

Regular check-ins help maintain an open line of communication, addressing concerns before they become significant issues.

How should I start a relationship check-in?

Begin by expressing appreciation for your partner. This sets a positive tone for the rest of the conversation. In our Check-In Check-List Activity it's the first quesion, and our template helps build gratitude from the start.

What should I discuss during a relationship check-in?

Discuss everything from appreciations and acknowledgments, emotional and physical needs, shared activities, to future plans and expectations. We suggest keeping it to the same essential questions each week, that way it becomes a rock of communication for your relationship.

How can I make my partner feel more loved during the upcoming week?

Ask your partner directly. Their answer could range from more quality time together to help with specific tasks.

Is it necessary to discuss sexual desires during relationship check-ins?

Yes, discussing sexual desires can help improve your physical intimacy, understanding each other's likes, dislikes, and expectations.

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