What's Your Conflict Style?

The Conflict Styles Relationship Quiz

conflict relationships Jul 21, 2022

If you're curious about how to improve conflict in your relationship, we suggest you start by understanding your conflict style. The simple and fun quiz on My People Patterns is the easy way to do it, although it's not totally necessary as you probably know a little bit about how you handle tension.

Take The My People Patterns Conflict Quiz here or scroll down!

The Conflict Style Relationship Quiz

How can I use the results from the conflict-style quiz?

How to Make the Most of Your Conflict Style Quiz Results

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, and understanding your conflict style can greatly improve the quality of your connections with others. If you've recently taken a conflict style quiz, congratulations on taking the first step towards self-awareness and growth! Now, let's discuss how you can use the results from the quiz to enhance your relationships.

1. Reflect on your dominant conflict style:

The conflict style quiz would have likely provided you with an insight into your dominant conflict style. Take some time to reflect on this result and think about how it aligns with your usual behaviors in conflicts. Are you more of a collaborator, compromiser, avoider, accommodator, or competitor? Understanding your dominant style can help you recognize your strengths and areas for improvement.

2. Identify potential limitations:

While your dominant conflict style may serve you well in certain situations, it's important to recognize its limitations. No single conflict style is appropriate for every scenario. For example, if you tend to avoid conflicts, it may lead to unresolved issues and build resentment over time. Being aware of the potential shortcomings of your dominant style can motivate you to explore other styles when necessary.

3. Learn about other conflict styles:

Once you have a good understanding of your dominant conflict style, take the opportunity to learn more about other styles. Familiarize yourself with the characteristics and approaches of each style to broaden your perspective. This knowledge will help you navigate conflicts more effectively by adapting

What do the different conflict styles represent?

Just like any other personality quiz, the results show what your 'go-to' type of conflict style is. Conflict styles represent the various approaches that individuals take when faced with disagreements or conflicts in their relationships. Understanding these different styles can be instrumental in improving the quality of your connection with others. Let's delve into what each conflict style represents:

1. Avoidance: This style involves avoiding conflicts altogether. People who prefer this style tend to ignore or sidestep disagreements, often hoping that the issue will resolve itself or simply go away. While avoidance can provide temporary relief, it can lead to unresolved issues and build up resentment over time.

2. Accommodation: Accommodation is when one person prioritizes harmony and the other person's needs over their own. This style involves yielding to the other person's wishes to maintain peace and avoid conflicts. While accommodation can be helpful in certain situations, it can also lead to suppressed feelings and unmet needs if used excessively.

3. Competition: Competitive individuals assert their own needs and desires above others. They tend to prioritize winning or getting their way in conflicts. This style can be effective in certain scenarios, such as in competitive sports, but excessive competition can damage relationships and lead to a lack of compromise.

4. Compromise: Compromise involves finding a middle ground where both parties give up something to reach a mutually agreeable solution. This style promotes cooperation and acknowledges that both individuals have valid perspectives. Compromising is generally a healthy conflict style that fosters collaboration and maintains relationships.

Though conflict is a normal and natural part of any relationship, it can lead to resentment, marital dissatisfaction, and mental health issues. At the same time, conflict can be a way to deepen connections, work together and gain a better understanding of relationships. However, our different styles of conflict need to be effectively understood in order to be healthy in a relationship.

A critical part of being in a relationship is to understand that we each have our own way of dealing with conflict. According to the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI), used by human resource (HR) professionals around the world, there are five major styles of conflict management—collaborating, competing, avoiding, accommodating, and compromising. This doesn't quite work for romantic relationship conflict however as it was created for the workplace and contract negotiations. In this video, I tweaked the Thomas-Kilmann model to reflect personal relationships, as it is so important to understand how you instinctively respond to conflict as well as having an increased awareness of how your partner or people you care about handle conflict in their own style.

How can taking a conflict style quiz help me?

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, whether it's with a partner, family member, friend, or coworker. How we handle conflict can greatly impact the quality and longevity of our relationships. Taking a conflict-style quiz can be a valuable tool in helping you understand your own conflict-resolution tendencies and how they may be affecting your relationships.

By taking a conflict style quiz assessment, you can gain insight into how you typically respond to conflict situations. Are you someone who is used to handling conflict by avoiding it all costs, or do you tend to be more assertive and confrontational? Are you accommodating and always seeking to please others, or are you competitive and focused on winning the argument? Understanding your own conflict style can help you identify areas where you may need to make adjustments or improvements.

One of the main benefits of taking a conflict style quiz is increased self-awareness. Often, we may not even realize that our instinctive reactions to conflict may not be helpful or productive. By understanding your own tendencies, you can begin to recognize when you're falling into unhelpful patterns and make a conscious effort to change your approach.

Additionally, a conflict style quiz can also provide you with a better understanding of the conflict styles of others. This can be incredibly valuable in improving communication and finding common ground in your relationships. When you understand how others typically respond to conflict, you can adjust your own approach to better meet their needs and find mutually beneficial solutions.

Not only can taking a conflict style quiz help you gain self-awareness and understand others better, but it can also provide you with practical strategies for improving your conflict resolution skills. Once you identify your preferred conflict style, you can learn specific techniques for managing conflict more effectively.

For example, if you tend to avoid conflict, the quiz might suggest strategies such as active listening, expressing your needs assertively, and finding ways to address disagreements in a calm and constructive manner. On the other hand, if you tend to be confrontational, the quiz might recommend techniques such as practicing empathy, seeking compromise, and focusing on finding common ground.

By incorporating these strategies into your conflict resolution toolbox, you can navigate conflicts with more ease and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Remember, conflict is not always a negative thing. It can be an opportunity for growth, understanding, and strengthening your bond with others.



Learn more about conflict, family systems and growing great relationships

My People Patterns shares the best tools, techniques and knowledge from a family systems perspective - all aimed at helping you grow great relationships. Hit subscribe to learn more about our S.O.F.T approach to healthy connections.

We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.