Marriage Trouble Quiz: Top Causes and Cures for Marital Disatisfaction

Don't believe what you see on social media!

Marriages and long-term relationships are incredibly challenging to manage and navigate. We're just not taught the skills and tools we need to effectively manage communication, intimacy, and connection while we're often left to figure things out on our own, repeating patterns we learned in our childhood or communicating in unhelpful ways that we just aren't aware of.

Marital dissatisfaction is a complex issue affecting many couples I work with in my private practice, and it leads to emotional exhaustion and long-term unhappiness and divorce if left unaddressed.

There are four key areas of a relationship that I asses for in my private practice that indicate to me that a marriage is in trouble:

Communication
The expression of feelings
Conflict resolution
Balance and equality.

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The Marriage Troubles Quiz

I created The Marriage Troubles Quiz to help couples isolate and focus on these four key pillars of a relationship that directly impact emotional connection and relationship or marital satisfaction.

The Marriage Troubles Quiz is completely free and takes only a few minutes, and we will email you a detailed breakdown of your results so that you can see which aspect of your relationship needs to be focused on.

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Essential Relationship Dynamics That Contribute To A Healthy Marriage

Communication

There's no getting around the idea that relationships require direct, effective communication to navigate how we interact, relate and connect to our partners.

When communication is 'off', we are unable to talk about our needs, complaints, concerns or fears, so we slowly dift apart.

Emotional Intimacy

There's a difference between talking and communicating in relationships, and our ability to express and listen to our partners' feelings is what makes the distinction.

Emotional communication is vital aspect of intimacy and feeling connected to the people we're in relationships with,

Conflict Resolution

Think about it: if you don't know how to resolve disagreements or are carrying around unhealed hurts from previous fights, how can you feel close and connected to someone?

Couples that don't know how to handle disagreements or resolve conflict in healthy ways often drift apart over time.

Balance & Power

This is a part of relationship dynamics we don't like talking about, because we want to believe we're in an equal relationship. But there are differences wherever there are two people in a relationship, and differences sometimes mean there's an imbalance. While not necessarily a bad thing, sometimes they contribute to marital issues.

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What Are The Signs Of Marriage Trouble?

Communication is Key:

But Not The Entire Vault.

Research often highlights the strong connection between communication and relationship satisfaction in a marriage. Couples who communicate effectively and express appreciation generally engage in more positive, less negative, and more productive interactions. However, the relationship between communication and satisfaction isn’t as simple as once thought.

Studies show that couples that couples tend to feel more satisfied during periods when their negative communication patterns are reduced. In other words, when a couple communicates less negatively than usual, they also report feeling more satisfied. Rather than one strictly causing the other, communication and satisfaction often shift in tandem, providing valuable insights into maintaining a fulfilling relationship.

Vulnerability and Emotional Communication

Vulnerability and emotional communication are essential for building emotional intimacy and a thriving marriage. They help create a safe, nurturing space where partners can be seen, heard, and understood on a profound level. By gradually moving from casual, shared interests to deeper expressions of personal values, fears, and desires, couples foster trust, empathy, and genuine intimacy. In this supportive environment, conflicts are more likely to be resolved productively as both partners learn to express feelings without judgment or blame.

Studies show that when partners habitually keep their true feelings hidden, it can erode authenticity and emotional closeness, making it harder to maintain genuine understanding and support. Over time, this emotional distance can weaken trust and satisfaction within the relationship, leaving both individuals feeling less fulfilled and connected. Engaging in a marriage assessment or couples therapy can help identify areas where emotional communication needs strengthening.

Conflict Resolution, Not A Lack Of Conflict.

When couples don’t have the tools to resolve disagreements effectively, even small issues can build into lasting resentments over time. Without skills like listening openly, expressing needs without blame, and working toward a compromise, conflicts tend to escalate, creating an environment of frustration, unhealed hurt feelings and disconnection.

Research consistently shows that couples who engage in positive problem-solving techniques—such as using humor, finding areas of agreement, and approaching problems with a willingness to understand the other’s perspective—report higher levels of happiness and long-term stability. In contrast, couples who fall into patterns of yelling, name-calling, or shutting down emotionally often experience a steady erosion of trust, closeness, and overall marital satisfaction. In short, the absence of constructive conflict resolution skills can weaken the very foundation upon which fulfilling, enduring marriages are built.

Balance, Equality and Power

When couples struggle with power imbalances, it can quietly erode the trust, respect, and sense of partnership that keep a relationship strong. Research shows that when one partner consistently feels overshadowed or unheard, intimacy may wane as the couple drifts into patterns of resentment or distance.

In contrast, relationships that share decision-making power and support each partner’s autonomy are marked by deeper mutual admiration, stronger feelings of equity, and a greater willingness to address concerns openly. Research suggests that when both individuals feel personally empowered—regardless of strict equality—couples are more likely to enjoy meaningful connection, emotional safety, and a heightened sense of satisfaction. In essence, fostering a balanced dynamic, where each voice matters and both partners have influence, sets the stage for a more resilient, fulfilling, and enduring relationship.

Fifteen Signs Of Relationship or Marriage Trouble You Should Be Aware Of:

If your relationship showing signs of tension, or if you're connecting with any of the points below,

Absolutely. Don't Panic. A relationship is only really over when the divorce papers are signed; until then, there's a lot to work on.
See if you want the same things - ie to reconnect and feel closer. You both need to assess if you want the same thing.
Try to push to spend more quality time together.... but...
...only if that is best course of action - pehraps it's not if you think it will turn into a fight.
As friends for suggestions for couples counseling. It helps. It works. It can absolutely create a complete 180, if you are both willing to

1. A Constant Flow of Criticism
When harsh words and negative feedback overshadow compliments, it often takes multiple positive interactions to balance out just one negative moment. This persistent negativity can erode appreciation and mutual respect, making it difficult to maintain a successful marriage.

2. Emotional and Physical Distance
Feeling alone—even when you’re together—signals a growing emotional gap, often accompanied by a noticeable withdrawal from shared activities. This distance can lead to a lack of intimacy and make spending quality time together feel forced rather than enjoyable.

3. Unequal Effort in Daily Life
If one partner shoulders most responsibilities without recognition, resentment can fester and erode feelings of fairness and respect. An unequal division of tasks can create an imbalance in the relationship, making one person feel undervalued and overburdened.

4. Secrets About Money
Financial dishonesty—concealing purchases, debts, or entire bank accounts—undermines trust and is frequently cited as a root cause of marital conflict. Transparency about finances is crucial for building a strong foundation and avoiding misunderstandings.

5. Communication Breakdown
Constant yelling or silent treatment? Both excessive fighting and total conflict avoidance make it hard to solve problems and move forward as a team. Effective communication is essential for addressing challenges and fostering a supportive partnership.

6. Stress That Becomes Physical
Headaches, stomach issues, or trouble sleeping when there's tension in the relationship might indicate things are more serious than you realize. Physical stress symptoms can be manifestations of underlying emotional struggles within the marriage.

7. Breaches of Trust and Privacy
Snooping through texts or emails, hiding conversations, or refusing to be transparent about daily life erodes the trust needed for a healthy bond. Repeated trust violations can create significant distance.

8, Contempt Over Compassion
Eye-rolling, mocking, or belittling jokes are forms of contempt. These behaviors chip away at respect and quickly poison the emotional climate, making it difficult to maintain a loving and supportive relationship.

9. Separate Bedrooms, Separate Lives
Consistently sleeping apart can reduce both emotional and physical closeness, reinforcing feelings of disconnect and isolation. Sharing a sleeping space fosters intimacy and provides opportunities for spontaneous connection.

10. Gridlock in Decision-Making
Struggling to agree even on small choices indicates deeper instability and an inability to function as a supportive, unified partnership. Decision-making paralysis can lead to frustration and diminish the sense of teamwork in the relationship.

10. Lack of Shared Dreams and Goals
When partners rarely discuss their dreams and aspirations, it can lead to a feeling of drifting apart. Sharing and supporting each other’s goals is essential for maintaining a sense of purpose and direction together.

11. Neglecting Regular Date Nights
Failing to prioritize regular date nights can result in a loss of fun and connection in the relationship. Dedicated effort to spend enjoyable time together strengthens the bond and keeps the relationship vibrant.

12. Ignoring Each Other’s Company
When one or both partners rarely like to spend time together, it can lead to feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction. Valuing each other fosters emotional intimacy and reinforces the marriage.

13. Avoiding Important Issues

Ignoring or avoiding issues that might be hot-button topics prevents couples from addressing challenges effectively. Tackling difficulties head-on through marriage counseling or open conversations can lead to better outcomes and a healthier marriage.

14. Feeling Hopeless About the Relationship

When one or both partners feel hopeless about the marriage’s future, it can signal a struggling marriage. Seeking immediate action through a marriage quiz or couples therapy can help you gain valuable insights and pathways to improvement.

15. Increased Consideration of Divorce
Frequently thinking about divorce or feeling like it’s the only solution to relationship problems is a significant warning sign. Understanding these thoughts through an assessment can help couples explore alternatives and rebuild their connection.

Self-Reflection Marriage Trouble Quiz Questions

Sometimes, gaining clarity about where you stand in your relationship starts with looking inward.

These self-reflection marriage trouble quiz questions are designed to help you identify patterns, understand your feelings, and recognize areas that might need attention.

Communication Quiz Questions

Do I often feel misunderstood or unable to share my true thoughts and feelings with my spouse?
When my partner speaks, do I truly listen, or do I find myself planning my response before they’ve finished?
How often do I offer genuine compliments or acknowledge my partner’s efforts, rather than focusing on criticisms?
When a sensitive topic arises, do we both feel safe and comfortable enough to discuss it openly, or do we shy away or become defensive?

Affection Quiz Questions

Can I identify moments when I’ve felt deeply understood and supported by my partner recently?
Do I recognize my partner’s emotional cues and respond with empathy, or do I often feel disconnected from their feelings?
When I’m upset, does my partner try to understand why—or do we both retreat into our own worlds?
Do I feel confident that I can express vulnerability, share fears, and show my true self without judgment?

Conflict Quiz Questions

Can I identify moments when I’ve felt deeply understood and supported by my partner recently?
Do I recognize my partner’s emotional cues and respond with empathy, or do I often feel disconnected from their feelings?
When I’m upset, does my partner try to understand why—or do we both retreat into our own worlds?
Do I feel confident that I can express vulnerability, share fears, and show my true self without judgment?

Balance & Equality Quiz Questions

In everyday decision-making, do I feel both our voices carry equal weight, or is one person’s opinion consistently prioritized?
When tasks and responsibilities are divided, do I notice ongoing resentment or a sense that one partner shoulders a heavier load?
Do I ever feel pressured or coerced into making certain decisions, or giving up my needs to keep the peace?
Am I aware of subtle power dynamics—like who initiates conversations, sets schedules, or controls finances—and how they affect our sense of partnership?