I ran a treatment center for a few years, and part of that job was training therapists to think systemically, so watching a eyes glaze over as I explained how to create a hypothesis became very familiar to me.
I realize now that I was not only asking them to learn a theory, but I was asking them ...
Have you ever had an experience where you ask a question and, when you didn’t get the answer you wanted, you ask it differently, only to get a completely different reaction?
One way you asked opened up the conversation, while the other led to a dead end. Â
I used to think that was about the famil...
by Oliver Drakeford LMFT CGP —
Jul 28, 2026
questions
Just a quick update -
I had a cracking migraine earlier this week so was not as organized as I would like to pretend to be :)Â
VIDEO #1
Watch how to use the Three-Column Family Therapy Case Formulation Framework here, it's on the youtubes.Â
2. PODCAST EPISODE
Listen to the news...
Case conceptualization for family work is hard; it’s easy to blur modalities and start thinking about attachment styles, then consider the DSM-5 diagnosis, IEPs and learning difficulties too. If you want to take a systemic approach to case hypotheses, I’ve got a simple way to organize all your th...
by Oliver Drakeford LMFT CGP —
Jul 21, 2026
hypothesis
This week, I’m sharing four ways therapists can get pulled into a system without noticing, plus some questions that can help us find our way back.
I don’t know about you, but one of my biggest struggles is not taking sides when I’m working with couples or families.
After years of doing this work,...
I think I spend more on my dog’s food than I do on my own, and last week I noticed those big brown, innocent-guilt-inducing eyes staring at me every time I ate. I was about to go get him a treat when I realized he’d actually eaten more than me that day. No wonder the vet is on me to get him to l...
by Oliver Drakeford LMFT CGP —
Jul 07, 2026
skills
Here’s a hypothetical situation for you: imagine you’ve got an eight-year-old child, and one morning as you’re getting into the car to go to school, they stop and look at you and say,
“I don’t feel safe getting in a car with your driving skills, and I think you need to let me drive - please give...
For years, I thought "circular questioning" was a skill my very hippie grad school neglected to teach, and that it was yet another $3,000 training I’d have to put on my list of things to save up for.
It turns out that it’s neither expensive nor hard to learn; it just requires a different way of t...
Have you ever considered that your skills as a family systems therapist can be a great fit for working with organizational teams and in business consulting?
You already know how to read structure, map power, spot unspoken rules, and notice who is in which role. You also understand that the person...
by Oliver Drakeford LMFT CGP —
Jun 16, 2026
skills
Have you ever left a session and called it "tense" or "charged," but then found it hard to explain exactly why in clinical language?
I hope I’m not the only one!
In this newsletter, I want to give you more clinical language to describe why a room sometimes feels off or to explain a vibe more clea...
by Oliver Drakeford LMFT CGP —
Jun 09, 2026
communication
Every family faces stress at some point, but the way they handle it is often part of the reason they come to see a family therapist.
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Stress doesn’t mean something is wrong. It happens whenever a family goes through change. For example, a child starts school, a parent loses a job, a teenager be...
In my first family session, I let the most talkative member steer the session for 40 minutes, while the rest of the family observed.
Nobody taught me that opening a family session follows a sequence, with specific signs and a clear moment to shift from rapport-building to therapy, so I didn’t giv...
